You Can Hear it on the Coconut Telegraph

"The jungle drums are beating
With the tales from late last night
Cause stories bear repeating
For everyones delight

You can hear em on the coconut telegraph (telegraph)
Cant keep nothin under their hat
You can hear em on the coconut telegraph (telegraph)
Sayin who did dis and dat
Dis and dat, dis and dat" Jimmy Buffett

I live on an island, and it's a close knit place (read: everyone knows everyone's business).

As you all know, someone tried to break into my house this weekend. Their efforts were thwarted by the barking powers of JoJo the wonder dog. I got a phone call last night during dinner from a friend (who also happens to be on the board of our Homeowners Association). She had heard about the break-in, and she wanted to make sure we were ok and what had happened.

I recounted the story, and she started laughing. One of her sons came home from school, and told her that our our house had been broken into, all four of my tires had been slashed (and this is the best part): I had hit the would-be robber upside the head with a pan.

I nearly died laughing for a couple of reasons...one, that the news had spread so quickly, two, that it was embellished so greatly, and three, that anyone would think I had the stones (or presence of mind) to hit an intruder with anything, much less a frying pan.

So, I made sure my friend knew the correct version of the events, and I can't wait to hear if I did anything else heroic. I'm always the last to know the good stuff.