On the side

I am a notoriously picky eater. The list of foods I won't eat is miles longer than the list of foods I will eat. I am funny about tastes, smells and textures. My mother used to tell me that "once it was cooked, I'd never be able to taste (fill in the blank)." I always tasted it.

Family legend has it that when I was a baby/toddler, I would eat anything...pheasant, goose, rabbit, muskrat (I really hope they are kidding about that one). I say, if they actually fed me that, it's no wonder I am so picky now.

Going to a restaurant with me used to be like the scenes in "When Harry Met Sally." My best friend loved to watch me order a Cobb Salad and totally deconstruct it. Jason says I don't really eat salads....just bowls of lettuce with carrots tossed in. I do try new things when I go out to restaurants, and I really, really, REALLY try not to be overly obnoxious when I order something (after all, I do not care to have my entree served with a side of spit).

In spite of my food idiosyncrasies, I tried to make sure I didn't pass them on to my children. Yeah. That didn't work so well. If I was the queen of "on the side," JP was the Emperor of "plain." I mean, plaaaaaaaaaaain. Dry white toast (a la Elwood Blues), pancakes and waffles with no butter or syrup, pasta with no butter or sauce, hamburgers were patty & bun (god help us if we went through the drive thru and they messed the order up), cereal with no milk...and on and on. The child would hoover broccoli, but he wouldn't eat a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

Packing the child a lunch for school was quite the show. He survived, though, and now, he eats all sorts of stuff (most of which I still won't eat). The first time I went to Subway with him and he ordered something other than a meatball sub, I about fell over. I listened to him ask for lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers,and on and on, and I swear, I turned to him and asked,"who's going to eat THAT?!?!" He ate it.

Cameron & Russell will eat bait, I mean, sushi, like it's going out of style. They all love seafood. You would think growing up in Annapolis that I would, too. Nope. Dirty little secret #625: I hate crabs. I will pick them for hours on end, but I will not eat them. I don't like crab cakes, crab imperial, or crab anything except hot crab dip and cream of crab soup. And fish....ugh. This drives Jason nuts, but I will only eat canned tuna, not fresh. Why, I don't know. I have tried fresh tuna, and I just can't eat it. I do love shrimp and lobster, though. :-)

I went to Norway several years back with my best friend, Tami, and I made a concerted effort to eat things I normally wouldn't eat. I ate reindeer, escargot and scallops (not all mixed together -- are you nuts?). I survived them all. Would I go out of my way to order them again? Probably not, but I can say I have tried them. Once.

I made chocolate muffins last week, and I put zucchini in them. Guess what? You couldn't even taste it.