The Circle Game

Anyone remember this Joni Mitchell song?

Yesterday, a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Then, the child moved ten times 'round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, "When you're older", must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, "Take your time. It won't be long now.
'Til you drag your feet to slow the circles down"

And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.

And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
And go 'round and 'round and 'round in the circle game.

********************************

My birthday was this past Tuesday. I am now 43. I am the same age my mother was when I got married. Next year, I will be the same age as my mother when she became a grandmother.

To say I am a little freaked out is an understatement.

To top it off, this is the last week that all my wild indians will be living under my roof full time. JP has (wisely) decided to no longer be a commuter student and to live at college.

No longer will I be serenaded to sleep by him playing guitar and singing.

I won't hear him thumping down the stairs at the butt crack of dawn when he is dangerously close to being late for his 6 am shift at work.

There will be no more texts requesting "spaghetti for dinner?."

When I walk into the kitchen, I won't see any overflowing hamper sitting in front of the washer.

And yet, he is the same age Jason was when Jason returned from Boot Camp.

He is close to Jason's age when we met.

This year, he could very well meet the girl that he will marry.

The girl who (many, many, MANY) years from now will make me a grandmother.

....and we'll go 'round and 'round and 'round in the circle game.....