Anyone remember this Joni Mitchell song?
Yesterday, a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Then, the child moved ten times 'round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, "When you're older", must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, "Take your time. It won't be long now.
'Til you drag your feet to slow the circles down"
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.
And the seasons they go 'round and 'round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game
And go 'round and 'round and 'round in the circle game.
********************************
My birthday was this past Tuesday. I am now 43. I am the same age my mother was when I got married. Next year, I will be the same age as my mother when she became a grandmother.
To say I am a little freaked out is an understatement.
To top it off, this is the last week that all my wild indians will be living under my roof full time. JP has (wisely) decided to no longer be a commuter student and to live at college.
No longer will I be serenaded to sleep by him playing guitar and singing.
I won't hear him thumping down the stairs at the butt crack of dawn when he is dangerously close to being late for his 6 am shift at work.
There will be no more texts requesting "spaghetti for dinner?."
When I walk into the kitchen, I won't see any overflowing hamper sitting in front of the washer.
And yet, he is the same age Jason was when Jason returned from Boot Camp.
He is close to Jason's age when we met.
This year, he could very well meet the girl that he will marry.
The girl who (many, many, MANY) years from now will make me a grandmother.
....and we'll go 'round and 'round and 'round in the circle game.....
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Things I do For Love
Jason went in for his physical so he he could attend Scout Camp with Cameron, and his doctor put him on the South Beach Diet.
This means that *I* am now on the South Beach Diet. Umm....yeah. The Cupcake Queen...the chick who an eat stuffing on a sandwich...the chick who fervently believes that Ben & Jerry's is one of the four food groups.
Jason is a bread junkie. The lack of bread is the hardest part for him right now.
In fact, he said last night that he would punch a sixth grader in the face for a baguette. Luckily, none of our children are in sixth grade. But any of y'all with sixth graders and french bread, you have been warned.
I've actually found it easier than expected to change how I eat. The two problems I have are.... #1 I hate most vegetables and #2 with the blood thinner meds I take, the types of vegetables I can eat is restricted as well.
So, I've had to do something I've been avoiding since I became an adult. I'm eating vegetables. Since I was a child, and certain vegetables were forced upon me, and I threw up, I've avoided them. The other night I made mashed cauliflower, and I ate it (without getting sick). Last night, I made a pan full of summer squash & zucchini...and ate it (without getting sick). I will say, although mashed cauliflower will never come close to conquering my love of mashed potatoes, it wasn't a wretched substitute (the kids may argue that point).
I haven't been brave enough to try broccoli again yet. I don't know that I ever will.
You may be asking yourselves if I am so loathe to eat vegetables why I agreed to go along with this. That's easy. I'm lazy, and I didn't want to become a short order cook making a zillion different dinners each night. OK, that and the fact that I want to be healthy....and support Jason in his journey....
....And buy a bunch of new clothes.
This means that *I* am now on the South Beach Diet. Umm....yeah. The Cupcake Queen...the chick who an eat stuffing on a sandwich...the chick who fervently believes that Ben & Jerry's is one of the four food groups.
Jason is a bread junkie. The lack of bread is the hardest part for him right now.
In fact, he said last night that he would punch a sixth grader in the face for a baguette. Luckily, none of our children are in sixth grade. But any of y'all with sixth graders and french bread, you have been warned.
I've actually found it easier than expected to change how I eat. The two problems I have are.... #1 I hate most vegetables and #2 with the blood thinner meds I take, the types of vegetables I can eat is restricted as well.
So, I've had to do something I've been avoiding since I became an adult. I'm eating vegetables. Since I was a child, and certain vegetables were forced upon me, and I threw up, I've avoided them. The other night I made mashed cauliflower, and I ate it (without getting sick). Last night, I made a pan full of summer squash & zucchini...and ate it (without getting sick). I will say, although mashed cauliflower will never come close to conquering my love of mashed potatoes, it wasn't a wretched substitute (the kids may argue that point).
I haven't been brave enough to try broccoli again yet. I don't know that I ever will.
You may be asking yourselves if I am so loathe to eat vegetables why I agreed to go along with this. That's easy. I'm lazy, and I didn't want to become a short order cook making a zillion different dinners each night. OK, that and the fact that I want to be healthy....and support Jason in his journey....
....And buy a bunch of new clothes.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Daddies Mean Fun...
...and Mommies mean business. I watched yesterday as JoJo the insane dog tackled Cameron as he walked into the door. She was so happy to see him, I thought she was going to have a heart attack. She kissed him from head to toe, and I swear, she was smiling. This happens pretty much every time the child walks in the house. It doesn't matter if he's been gone all day or 10 minutes.
Later last night, when Jason walked in the door, he, too, got a warm reception. When Jason walks in, she actually stands up on her hind legs and hugs him.
As for me? I could have been wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress, and I would still have been ignored. I barely got a passing glance.
I'm home with the dog all day. I let her out...I let her in...I make sure she has water. I throw toys around for her to fetch. And yet, she pays me no mind (unless I am sitting on the couch in "her spot" next to Jason).
When the kids were little, it was the same thing. The squeals of "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" would ring though the house when Jason walked in the door.
I guess when you are looking at someone all day, you take for granted all that they do for you. When it comes to the dog, I know Jason & Cameron will always be her favorites, and that is just fine by me.
I do wish she would show their possessions the same love she shows mine. I mean, really....I am not the only person in the house that wears shoes. She can definitely make the effort to chew up someone else's.
Just sayin'.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Say What?!?!
When JP (aka Son #1) was little, he wouldn't talk. It wasn't that he COULDN'T talk, he just made the conscious decision not to. He was never disrespectful in his silence; he found other ways to communicate.
Once, we were headed to family party out of state. When we pulled into Jason's cousin's driveway, JP said simply, "I am not going to talk today." And he didn't. For hours upon hours, the child was silent. When we got into the car to leave, he was no sooner buckled into his booster seat, than the words came pouring out. He talked for the entire car ride home.
He was the same way in preschool, Kindergarten and First Grade. If he decided not to talk, there was no way he was going to make a sound.
It takes an inordinate amount of will power not to speak for an extended period of time...especially for a child. I have to give him credit for his tenacity. I know I sure couldn't go a full day without talking.
As JP got older, he did begin to talk in school. Of my four kids, though, he remains the most quiet to this day. He has never been one to make scenes yelling or carrying on. He uses his words sparingly, but I must admit, to great effect.
Last night, during what started off as a perfectly benign conversation among Jason, JP & I, JP swore. For those of you that know me well, you know that I have a mouth like a sailor...as does Jason. I was not shocked by what JP said (in fact, I was laughing), but what struck me was the fact that he was comfortable enough to say it in front of me. I pointed out to him that even now, at my advanced age, I don't swear in front of my parents. He then pointed out that he has heard my parents and Jason's parents swear...and he's right.
So after he went upstairs, he went onto Facebook, and posted his status as "JP is going to start a group" Now, I know he was just being silly, and I know he did it just to get a reaction out of me. Well, it worked. I blocked the kids from seeing my status quoting him, and my oh my did my friends chime in.
One of the best responses was that I should start a FB group named "things I can kick JP out of the house for saying now that he is 18." Naturally, I jumped all over that, and I made it my status. JP's response was simply, "well played."
Now that he is getting older, I love having conversations with him on an adult level. His humor is quick witted, his beliefs are passionate, and his words are used wisely.
Well, most of the time.
Once, we were headed to family party out of state. When we pulled into Jason's cousin's driveway, JP said simply, "I am not going to talk today." And he didn't. For hours upon hours, the child was silent. When we got into the car to leave, he was no sooner buckled into his booster seat, than the words came pouring out. He talked for the entire car ride home.
He was the same way in preschool, Kindergarten and First Grade. If he decided not to talk, there was no way he was going to make a sound.
It takes an inordinate amount of will power not to speak for an extended period of time...especially for a child. I have to give him credit for his tenacity. I know I sure couldn't go a full day without talking.
As JP got older, he did begin to talk in school. Of my four kids, though, he remains the most quiet to this day. He has never been one to make scenes yelling or carrying on. He uses his words sparingly, but I must admit, to great effect.
Last night, during what started off as a perfectly benign conversation among Jason, JP & I, JP swore. For those of you that know me well, you know that I have a mouth like a sailor...as does Jason. I was not shocked by what JP said (in fact, I was laughing), but what struck me was the fact that he was comfortable enough to say it in front of me. I pointed out to him that even now, at my advanced age, I don't swear in front of my parents. He then pointed out that he has heard my parents and Jason's parents swear...and he's right.
So after he went upstairs, he went onto Facebook, and posted his status as "JP is going to start a group" Now, I know he was just being silly, and I know he did it just to get a reaction out of me. Well, it worked. I blocked the kids from seeing my status quoting him, and my oh my did my friends chime in.
One of the best responses was that I should start a FB group named "things I can kick JP out of the house for saying now that he is 18." Naturally, I jumped all over that, and I made it my status. JP's response was simply, "well played."
Now that he is getting older, I love having conversations with him on an adult level. His humor is quick witted, his beliefs are passionate, and his words are used wisely.
Well, most of the time.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I'll Tumble for Ya
Yes, I just quoted a Culture Club song...wanna make something of it?
I hate wearing shoes and socks. I'd rather be barefoot. Since I can't be barefoot all the time (stores have those silly "no shirts, no shoes, no dice" rules), I wear flip flops as much as humanly possible. As long as it's not raining or snowing, I really try not to wear shoes.
Jason & I disagree on what constitutes appropriate footwear. He loathed my crocs. I am almost 100% positive he tossed them to JoJo for her to chew up. That's how much he hated them. I thought they were the most comfortable things on earth, and I said wearing them was like walking on marshmallows.
He's always saying that flip flops are only for the beach, they're not safe to wear all the time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So, yesterday, since it was above 40*, it was flip flop weather for me. I managed to do just fine in my lethal footwear until Youth Group. The front of my flip flop got caught in a crack in the sidewalk, and BOOM. I folded like a card table. I put out my left hand to break my fall (thankfully I didn't break my wrist), and my right knee hit the concrete. Luckily, I was wearing jeans, so I didn't break the skin.
Being on the stupid blood thinners, I have a new fear to add to my list of irrational fears (which includes falling and birds) - bleeding to death.
Now Russell's reaction was the best...he said, "well, if you were really hurt, I'd get to drive home" (Russell has driven with his learner's permit exactly once. In a parking lot). Yeah, so THAT was going to happen. Not.
I'm ok, bruised and a little sore, but I'll survive.
And I'll survive while continuing to wear flip flops.
So there.
I hate wearing shoes and socks. I'd rather be barefoot. Since I can't be barefoot all the time (stores have those silly "no shirts, no shoes, no dice" rules), I wear flip flops as much as humanly possible. As long as it's not raining or snowing, I really try not to wear shoes.
Jason & I disagree on what constitutes appropriate footwear. He loathed my crocs. I am almost 100% positive he tossed them to JoJo for her to chew up. That's how much he hated them. I thought they were the most comfortable things on earth, and I said wearing them was like walking on marshmallows.
He's always saying that flip flops are only for the beach, they're not safe to wear all the time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So, yesterday, since it was above 40*, it was flip flop weather for me. I managed to do just fine in my lethal footwear until Youth Group. The front of my flip flop got caught in a crack in the sidewalk, and BOOM. I folded like a card table. I put out my left hand to break my fall (thankfully I didn't break my wrist), and my right knee hit the concrete. Luckily, I was wearing jeans, so I didn't break the skin.
Being on the stupid blood thinners, I have a new fear to add to my list of irrational fears (which includes falling and birds) - bleeding to death.
Now Russell's reaction was the best...he said, "well, if you were really hurt, I'd get to drive home" (Russell has driven with his learner's permit exactly once. In a parking lot). Yeah, so THAT was going to happen. Not.
I'm ok, bruised and a little sore, but I'll survive.
And I'll survive while continuing to wear flip flops.
So there.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Don't Blink
I was one of the first of my friends to have kids. When Jason & I were first married, we didn't live in a neighborhood full of kids. I felt very isolated until the day when Jason brought home a shiny AOL disc.
I was rather non-plussed at first, and then I found it...a message board full of other stay at home moms. Some had older kids, some had younger kids, but they were all just like me. I had someone to talk to when I was having a bad day...or the kids were having a bad day...and the moms with older kids assured me that I would survive the terrible twos...and potty training...and temper tantrums in public...and they were right. And even though they teased me because I was the "baby" of the group, they made me more confident of my choices, and they without a doubt, made me a better mom.
These women have been my friends and confidantes, and we have shared triumphs, hopes, dreams, and sorrows beyond imagination. They have been my lifeline over the years...even as we outgrew AOL...some of us lost touch...and reconnected through the magic of Facebook.
Today I learned that one of our group lost her 20 year old son last week. He was a young man full of promise, and I cannot even begin to comprehend the magnitude of his loss on the family. All I know is that my heart is breaking for her and her family, and no amount of words will change the fact that he is gone.
Please say a prayer for her...and her family...and the friends that all are mourning his passing.
And do me a favor and hug your kids an extra time tonight.
I was rather non-plussed at first, and then I found it...a message board full of other stay at home moms. Some had older kids, some had younger kids, but they were all just like me. I had someone to talk to when I was having a bad day...or the kids were having a bad day...and the moms with older kids assured me that I would survive the terrible twos...and potty training...and temper tantrums in public...and they were right. And even though they teased me because I was the "baby" of the group, they made me more confident of my choices, and they without a doubt, made me a better mom.
These women have been my friends and confidantes, and we have shared triumphs, hopes, dreams, and sorrows beyond imagination. They have been my lifeline over the years...even as we outgrew AOL...some of us lost touch...and reconnected through the magic of Facebook.
Today I learned that one of our group lost her 20 year old son last week. He was a young man full of promise, and I cannot even begin to comprehend the magnitude of his loss on the family. All I know is that my heart is breaking for her and her family, and no amount of words will change the fact that he is gone.
Please say a prayer for her...and her family...and the friends that all are mourning his passing.
And do me a favor and hug your kids an extra time tonight.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Knock, Knock
I am the first to admit I am not always the sharpest crayon in the box. I mean, I'm not Forest Gump, but I am definitely not Albert Einstein, either. Most days, I fall somewhere in the middle. Today was not one of those days.
I had my morning all mapped out. On paper, it was a perfect plan. It would have been a thing of beauty, actually, if only I hadn't locked my keys in the house. Yup. Now, let me say, I had unlocked the car before I left the house, so the keys were in.my.hand. Instead of putting them in my purse, I put them down on the table. Brilliant.
Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. Since the car was unlocked, I could have used the garage door opener to get into the house. Except....I locked the door to the garage. Now, I never lock that door (just on the off chance I do something boneheaded like locking myself out of the house). However, Jason left last night for Atlanta, and I had the house locked down like Fort Knox. Including the door that I never lock. Awesome.
I think who has keys to my house. My mom & my sister have keys. Great! I call my sister...who is at work. Call my mom....who is at work. Mom says my house key is at her neighbor's house (umm, what?). OK, so I try to track down my stepfather to go to the neighbor's house and get the key. Now mind you, I have my one year old nephew strapped into his carseat in my car.
I grab my cell phone to call my stepfather, and....his number is not pre-programmed into my phone. Why, I don't know. I scroll through all of my contacts, and it is not there. I have his email address, but no cell number. So, I text Jason (in Atlanta), JP (in the middle of his college class), and Russell (in the middle of his High School Class). No answers. Perfect! I call the High School, explain the situation, and ask if Russell has his keys at school. The secretary tracks Russell down, and yes, he has his keys. Great. Only problem is...how am I going to get them?
My wonderful stepfather shows up with the spare key. It.doesn't.fit. Seriously. In my panic, it didn't occur to me that when Jason replaced the door knob, we got all new keys. I hadn't given anyone the new key. My stepfather volunteers to go up to the High School to grab Russell's keys. So, I finally get into the house, grab my keys and head off to do my errands.
And yes, one of the errands was going to the hardware store and getting spare house keys made.
I may wear the key around my neck...or as earrings.
I had my morning all mapped out. On paper, it was a perfect plan. It would have been a thing of beauty, actually, if only I hadn't locked my keys in the house. Yup. Now, let me say, I had unlocked the car before I left the house, so the keys were in.my.hand. Instead of putting them in my purse, I put them down on the table. Brilliant.
Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. Since the car was unlocked, I could have used the garage door opener to get into the house. Except....I locked the door to the garage. Now, I never lock that door (just on the off chance I do something boneheaded like locking myself out of the house). However, Jason left last night for Atlanta, and I had the house locked down like Fort Knox. Including the door that I never lock. Awesome.
I think who has keys to my house. My mom & my sister have keys. Great! I call my sister...who is at work. Call my mom....who is at work. Mom says my house key is at her neighbor's house (umm, what?). OK, so I try to track down my stepfather to go to the neighbor's house and get the key. Now mind you, I have my one year old nephew strapped into his carseat in my car.
I grab my cell phone to call my stepfather, and....his number is not pre-programmed into my phone. Why, I don't know. I scroll through all of my contacts, and it is not there. I have his email address, but no cell number. So, I text Jason (in Atlanta), JP (in the middle of his college class), and Russell (in the middle of his High School Class). No answers. Perfect! I call the High School, explain the situation, and ask if Russell has his keys at school. The secretary tracks Russell down, and yes, he has his keys. Great. Only problem is...how am I going to get them?
My wonderful stepfather shows up with the spare key. It.doesn't.fit. Seriously. In my panic, it didn't occur to me that when Jason replaced the door knob, we got all new keys. I hadn't given anyone the new key. My stepfather volunteers to go up to the High School to grab Russell's keys. So, I finally get into the house, grab my keys and head off to do my errands.
And yes, one of the errands was going to the hardware store and getting spare house keys made.
I may wear the key around my neck...or as earrings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)